excerpts on public speaking.

“The best leaders very often are very good storytellers, and they will tell a story which sums it up without their having to say so. Their story hits the emotional centers as well as the cognitive.” -Daniel Goleman

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Civil rights attorney Bryan Stevenson’s TED Talk, “We Need to Talk About an Injustice,” received the longest standing ovation in TED history. He told three stories. The first was about his grandmother. When Gallo asked Stevenson why he chose this story, Stevenson replied, “Carmine, I always tell a story about my grandmother. Why? Because everyone has a grandmother.” From the outset of his talk, Stevenson forms an immediate connection with his audience.

The human brain loves stories. “Stories that trigger emotion are the ones that best inform, illuminate, inspire, and move people to action. Most everyday workplace conversations are heavy on data and light on stories, yet you need the latter to reinforce your argument. So start incorporating more anecdotes—from your own experience or those about other people, stories, and brands (both successes and failures)—into your pitches and presentations.”

The first thing you want to do is get your audience emotionally charged. Next, you want to hit them intellectually.

“In the workplace, your listener (boss, colleague, sales prospect) is asking him or herself one question: ‘Is this person teaching me something I don’t know?’ So introduce material that’s unexpected, surprising, or offers a new and novel solution to an old problem.” -Carmine Gallo

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The Catholic writer Flannery O’Connor was once asked why the characters in her short stories were so outlandish. “When you can assume that your audience holds the same beliefs you do,” she said, “you can relax a little and use more normal ways of talking to it; when you have to assume that it does not, then you have to make your vision apparent by shock — to the hard of hearing you shout, and for the almost blind you draw large and startling figures.” -Geoff Loftus

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“What are the body language signs of fake listening? The eye contact is too fixed and too still. A person holds his head very still, as if to show that he’s really focused on you. Or she smiles too brightly, holding the smile too long. But a real conversation is full of anticipatory nods and handoffs of eye contact in order to allow smooth conversational ping-pong. It’s relaxed and synchronized. Fake listening feels very different from that. It’s tense rather than fluid, abrupt rather than smooth, hyped rather than natural.

And that’s just the face. Watch the rest of the body. Is it turning away from you? Is he tapping his fingers? Is she pointing her feet toward the door? Is the other party in constant motion, never quite coming to rest during the conversation? These are all signs of connection deficit syndrome.

Don’t do it. Take the time to connect with other people by being truly present. Let your own mind go quiet and instead of chattering away to yourself--or planning your escape--focus on the other person with the intent to connect. You’ll be amazed what you can learn. When everyone else is moving at a hundred miles per hour, start your own slow connection movement.

People who are in agreement with one another tend to mirror each other. One leads, the other follows in a matter of a few seconds. It’s especially revealing and easy to spot when there are three people talking; typically two will align and mirror and the third will not. All of this makes for entertaining people watching.

Spouses, partners, and lovers usually mirror one another’s physical orientation when they’re together or with others and they’re in basic agreement. It’s interesting to watch couples for signs of mirroring--and its opposite. You can often detect trouble in the relationship before the couple is aware of it.

People who are profoundly sympathetic to one another--lovers, siblings who are close, even business partners--are fun to watch because they will move together virtually as one. When you see this kind of unconscious dance, it’s a strong signal that the two people are in intimate agreement, either mentally or physically or both.” -Nick Morgan